Dangerous Game
by Pagan-Angel13
Summary: The Talk, What will happen? Reela. Rating T This story is currently on hiatus until my muse decides to grace me with her presence. Sorry guys.
1. Chapter 1: Bad News

Dangerous Game by Pagan

Disclaimer: I own nothing except the character of Ben; everything else belongs to the creators of ER.

This is my first Ray/Neela fic, well ER fic so don't be too harsh and let me know what you think.

Chapter 1- Bad News

It had been two months since the night of the three storey collapse and the night Dr John Carter had left County General ER but it was still as busy as ever so when a solemn young man walked in no one noticed.

The tall, sandy blond haired well built guy walked up to the triage desk since that seemed the only place he could go.

"What's wrong," Chuny asked.

"Nothing, I 'm looking for a Dr. Neela Rasgotra; I was told I could find her here?" asked the young man uncertainly.

Chuny looked up, wondering why someone was asking for Neela but said." Sit down; she'll be with you when she can, next."

The young guy went, sat down and proceeded to wait, not knowing how long it would take for him to see this Dr. Neela but it was a promise he'd made and he wasn't about to break it.

Grabbing her things from her locker, Neela was finally about to go home after pulling one of the worst double shifts of her career when she heard Chuny calling her, hoping it wasn't about one of her many patients.

"Yes, Chuny I'm on my way out."

"There's a guy waiting for you in the waiting area, he came looking for you," Chuny said, pointing the guy out.

"Did he give a name or say why he wanted to see me?"

"No, just said he was looking for a Dr. Neela Rasgotra, anyway have a goodnight," with that Chuny walked off going back to work.

Making her way over to the guy she didn't recognize Neela said," I'm Dr. Neela Rasgotra, who are you and why did you want to see me?"

"I'm Benjamin Knight, is there somewhere private we can talk?" Ben asked, taking a look at her he now knew why he was asked to come and do this in person and not let someone phone this beautiful woman, she didn't deserve to hear what he had to tell her over the phone by some bureaucrat.

Neela really wasn't in the mood to play games, she was tired, hungry and only wanted to go home and get some rest before she had to come back in 12 hours so she said," Whatever it is you have to tell me just say it here."

Wishing they were somewhere private and not knowing how she would react he had no idea how to say what he had to but said, "I'm sorry to have to tell you but Michael Gallant's dead. I served with him, he made me promise if anything happened to him I'd come and tell you." Ben just stood there and watched the young woman in front of him, not knowing what to do.

"He's what?" Neela asked, not sure she'd heard right but knowing what he was saying was true.

"He died, we were bombed and he didn't make it. He was hurt too bad, I'm so sorry."

Neela stood there, slightly in shock and not wanting to believe what she was hearing, she knew that everyone in the ER would want and needed to know especially Pratt. This was the last thing she needed to hear right now, this just topped of her miserable day perfectly.

Making sure her emotions were under tight control, she said, "You better go in, see Jerry – the big guy at the desk- and ask for Dr Pratt and tell him what you just told me. Tell Sam at triage that I said you could go in," with that Neela steadily walked out the building thanking God it was night.

Ben watched her leave; the reaction from her was what he kind of expected after hearing Gallant talk about her but seeing it and expecting were two different things.

Having talked to both Sam and Jerry he was now telling the Dr. Pratt Neela had told him to speak to. The man was visibly upset.

"Where's Neela, she should hear it from me before anyone else," Pratt wondered, aloud to himself.

"I've already told her, she's the person who told me to tell you."

Hearing this made Pratt stop, Neela was closer to Gallant than he was, he had no idea how she'd take this. Spotting Ray making his way to the doors he shouted "Ray, hold up."

Ray stopped, turned and said, "What? I've finished, Pratt. I've got a gig to get to."

"Have you seen Neela?"

"Yeah, she left not that long ago, why?" Ray asked, concern for his roommate growing with Pratt's behavior.

"She heard some bad news; I don't know how well she'll deal with it. When you see her tell her I'm sorry and that I'm here for her – if she needs anything," Pratt told him,beforegoing off to tell everyone else who knew Gallant the bad news.

"Pratt, what happened? What bad news?" Ray yelled at his retreating back.

Turning around Pratt said, "Michael Gallant died."

"The guy fighting in Iraq?"

"Yeah," was all Ray heard from Pratt.

After having gone home Neela showered, changed in to something she rarely ever wore and was now making her way to a bar or nightclub which ever she came across first, where she could just get lost in the crowd.

She hadn't gone and done anything like this in such a long time, not since she'd left England and spent the first few years of college here.

But right now she just wanted to be free and forget everything going on in her life, she needed to forget.

Ray had phone the apartment, her cell but nothing. He'd even raced home only to find she wasn't there, she had been home though – her coat, clothes and bag were all present.

He was concerned about Neela, they'd become close and unknown to her for the last two months had been fighting the attraction he had for her.

He wanted to know where she was but she'd been living in Chicago longer than he had and he had no idea where she might go or what she might do.

So here he was about to go on stage, putting himself in the zone he needed to be in and hoping Neela would be there when he got home.

Finally, Neela found a place that she felt she could loose herself in and all she had to do was get past the bouncers.

The two burly mean looking bouncers noticed her, letting her walk in straightway ahead of the patrons who'd been waiting.

Walking in, she headed straight for the bar, the smoky atmosphere making her eyes water.

"What can I get ya?" asked a good-looking bartender.

"Bourbon, straight and keep 'em coming," Neela said, barely giving the bartender a glance.

Looking around her, she noticed an empty stage, a DJ playing and the club appearing to be packed.

Glancing in front of her she picked up her drink and skulled it, ordering another.

Thanks for reading, I usually write for another fandom at a completely different place.

I hope everyone liked it, sorry if they seem out of character but like i said this is my first foray into ER, Ray Neela fandom.

There's more to come, so stay tuned.


	2. Chapter 2: Gone Going Feel It

**Title:** Dangerous Game

**Disclaime**r: I own nothing…suing me will achieve nothing except to send me into a deeper depression than what I have been in and only cause everyone involved a lot of unnecessary grief and trouble.

**A/N:** Warning may briefly contain tiny about of adult theme so please read at your own discrection and if you know you shouldn't read it than don't.

Chapter 2 – Gone Going …Feel It

Sensing a sudden change in the atmosphere of the bar Neela looked to the stage; saw the DJ packing up and some guys setting up what looked to be band equipment.

Placing the shot glass down, Neela took note of how many shots she'd had – two in five minutes – not even a record for her…she'd drank more shots in five minutes than anyone would believe of her.

Ordering an other shot Neela saw the bartender give her the 'like you need another' look and said, "I may look like one but I'm no lightweight…I could probably drink you under the table so just give me another and a bottle of water," her voice showing no signs of intoxication.

"Sure, that'll be $20.00 bucks," the bartender said, winking at her the look completely forgotten.

As the bartender got her another drink, slid the glass over to her and placed the water near by Neela gave him the once over, eying him up as she handed over the money, no further words spoken, just a look that spoke of later possibilities.

Polishing off the shot Neela proceeded to drink some water – currently not feeling the effects of the alcohol she'd so far consumed. She remembered alcohol hit her quicker than this.

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"Ray," Brett called out, "We're on," he finished, walking out.

"Damn, where the hell are you Neela," Ray muttered to himself, switching off his phone, chucking it into his bag and following his band mates onto the makeshift stage.

Seeing a crowd of people already waiting for them Ray put thoughts of Neela out of his mind and began playing to the cheering crowd.

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Within minutes of hearing the music Neela grabbed her water bottle and waltzed into the crowd, her only thought that of loosing herself amongst them.

Adjusting to the crowd, feeling the music wrap itself around her, Neela felt herself letting go.

She felt the rhythmic beat guide her into a provocative movement, allowing the melody to direct and guide her body.

For the next twenty minutes she danced, grinded and rubbed bodies with anyone within range of herself, not caring who they were; all she wanted was to completely and utter loose herself and not feel anything…she just wanted to feel numb.

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Same time…

As he played Ray watched and gauged the crowds reaction, the crowd was going off - dancing, singing along when they could and he noticed quite a few hot girls all giving him 'the' look.

He contemplated who he'd might hook up with after as he continued to play but all that suddenly faded into obscurity. Dancing, grinding and rubbing her body against anyone who got close was the most beautiful, stunning entrancing woman he'd ever seen though he had a strange feeling like he knew her already.

She seemed completely oblivious to those around her including her surroundings; it was as though she was trying to loose herself…and succeeding. Watching he couldn't help thinking that maybe Neela was off doing the same thing, maybe she would be at some place like this…but nah the Neela he knew would never step foot in a place like this let alone act like the woman who was now directly in front of him, still dancing and grinding away.

Far as he knew Neela didn't even own clothes that resembled what his enchantress was encased in – a black lace halter and low rise bootleg jeans. He progressed through the set his gaze barely leaving her but his thoughts constantly drifting back to Neela, hoping she was safe.

As the set finished he saw her head straight for the bar, order herself a shot and toss it back as though it were lolly water.

Heading to the backroom that acted as the bands dressing room Ray decided on his plans for the rest of his night. He'd try Neela one last time if he had no luck he'd leave her to her own thing and he'd go and try hooking up with his enchantress from the bar but if she did answer then he'd go and be a friend, he'd do whatever he could to help her. His decision made he packed up his gear.

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Feeling her phone Neela retrieved it and switched it off, taking note it was Ray…again. Placing it back in her jacket pocket she tossed back another shot, quickly following it with a few mouthfuls of water, wishing the alcohol would take affect.

Her hand stopping midway to her mouth Neela suddenly felt a familiar presence, steeling herself she shifted slightly coming face to face with the person who'd found her.

"Ray," she choked, clearly shocked, "What are you doing here," she asked him, quickly concealing any tell tale emotions.

Shock clearly etched into his features all Ray could do was stare – _his_ enchantress was _his_ room mate – Neela. 'What the hell is she doing here?' he thought and 'why the hell did she have to dress like that!'

Seeing she wasn't getting any response from Ray, Neela grabbed her jacket and walked out but not before sending the bartender one last sizzling look, her eyes sultry and her mouth curved invitingly. She'd arranged earlier to meet the bartender after his shift.

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Seeing the exchange between Neela and the bartender Ray was abruptly brought out of his thoughts. Turning to the bartender he growled, "Stay away from her," and stalked out, dashing after her.

Not seeing her anywhere Ray decided to head for home, hoping that's where she would be. Seeing his band mates getting into the groups van he went over, talked to the guys and got in. They were going to drop him home.

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Not hearing her name being shouted through the streets Neela headed home…it wasn't likely she'd meet the bartender now…hell Ray probably warned the guy off what with the way he'd been staring at her and thinking he was doing the right thing for her.

Only what she needed right now was to forget and random sex with some random guy whose name she didn't know was exactly what she needed.

Finding herself outside their apartment door, she grabbed her keys fumbled with the lock a bit and walked in. Going straight to the answering machine like always she saw they had 50 messages, pressing play she heard Ray's voice full of concern and worry echo through the apartment she instantly pressed stop and walked away heading for her room.

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Having entered the still darkened apartment Ray dumped his gear down, out of the entrance way so as not to bother Neela in the morning.

Making his way towards Neela's room Ray heard the soft music emanating through the door, thankful she was at least home.

Knowing she was probably angry with him and not asleep he knocked on her door and called out to her, her response was to turn up the volume – effectively blocking him out.

Hearing the volume go up he started banging and shouting trying to gain her attention, determined to not allow her to shut him out- she could do that with everyone else but not him, he had to live with her!

Suddenly he found himself staring into her hostile, pain filled chocolate brown eyes, hearing her say, "What Ray?" as the strands of Mariah Carey's The Emancipation of Mimi album greeted him.

"I heard about Gallant…just wanted to let you know I'm here for you if you need anything," he said.

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Hearing Gallant's name fall from his lips brought back all the guilt she'd managed to forget over the last few hours after hearing of Gallant's death.

Looking up into Ray's gorgeous green eyes the guilt she felt intensified and was joined by an all too familiar emotion she felt whenever she was around this man in front of her – desire, lust…

"Neela," she heard him say.

"There's nothing you can do…you ruined my night already so just leave me alone," she said solemnly, moving to close her door, her earlier fight gone.

Before she could close it more than an inch Ray had moved forward clasped her shoulders softly, lightly caressing her cheek and kissed her forehead…a kiss meaning so much more than either knew.

As he turned to walk away Neela reached out, grasped his wrist and without a single thought leaned up and kissed his lips, softly at first.

Stunned momentarily by her actions Ray stood motionless, unresponsive but his senses soon regained themselves and he responded.

The kiss soft at first instantly became fierce, passionate and fervent.

Without thoughts clouding their minds, only listening to their body's commands Ray's hands cupped her face as Neela's arms wound around his neck.

As the kiss intensified Ray backed them into her room, shedding clothes as they went until Neela felt her legs come into contact with her bed. Momentarily breaking their kiss both grappled to take in breath while Ray's hands roamed her body, feeling every contour and curve as though memorizing what she felt like…the softness of her skin, the warmth of her flesh against his and the feeling of her tongue dueling with his own.

Within moments Neela took control, lying down and bring Ray with her. She took possession of his mouth, their tongues dueling for dominance over the other as her hands began their brief exploration of his body just as he'd done to her.

Minutes later Neela sat astride Ray her eyes closed as she impaled herself upon him, her head thrown back in wanton abandon, his hands resting on her hips as their fiery explosive dance began.


	3. Chapter 3: Changes Consequences

**Title:** Dangerous Game

**Disclaime**r: I own nothing…suing me would achieve nothing.

**Thanks: **to all the people who review this story – you're the ones who keep me writing this along with my many muses.

Chapter 3 – Changes…Consequences

Waking up Ray looked around the room, dazed and confused as to where the hell he was but the confusion quickly dissipated as the previous nights events came rushing back, exploding into his consciousness…Pratt, bad news…Neela…his gig…his enchantress…Neela…home…Neela…sex…sex…

Laying there regaining his wits Ray could still feel her all over him – her lusciously soft body, her lips, her hands, her scent mingled with him own…

Drawing himself from his thoughts he felt beside him, the bed felt cold and empty – wait empty - that meant she wasn't there. Getting up Ray grabbed his discarded clothes, pulled on his jeans and left her room.

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Looking to the horizon Neela noticed the sun fighting to appear through the clouds as the frigid wind blew and lashed at her. Running as fast as her tired body would allow she past the partially frozen river, never slowing her pace in fact she just kept pushing herself.

Having awoken before the sun had even risen, finding herself snugly wrapped in Ray's arms, her head resting on his chest the slow rhythmic beating of his heart lulling her into the depths of the slumber again she'd stealthily and quietly extricated herself, leaving the apartment after finding some clothes and taking one last look at a peacefully sleeping Ray.

Now here she was running, the freezing wind biting the exposed flesh of her face, arms and legs – not that she felt it, she didn't really feel anything. What she felt was akin to numbness. She hadn't wanted to face Ray this morning…hell she hadn't even wanted to face herself after what she'd done last night.

_Beep beep beep_ looking down Neela stopped, grabbed her pager – the only thing she had with her – and checked the message. It was Lewis, she was late. Taking one last look at the sky Neela headed home hoping Ray was either at work or had already forgotten about last night but knowing her luck Ray would probably be home, waiting for her.

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Since having arrived less than thirty minutes after Lewis's page Neela had felt like there were a hundred pairs of eyes watching her, waiting for some unknown reaction.

"Sorry about Gallant," Sam said, passing Neela as she picked up another chart.

Snapping her head up, staring at Sam's retreating back Neela now knew why she felt like she was being watched – Pratt had told everyone and they were all waiting for her reaction…well they'd be waiting for long ass time if they expected to see a meltdown.

Grabbing the nearest chart Neela turned around colliding with a solid form.

"Roomy," Ray said, his hands on Neela's arms steadying her.

"Dr. Barnett," Neela said, trying to move away from him and go to her newest patient.

Before Neela could pull away from him and spend the entire shift avoiding him Ray leaned down and whispered "We have to talk sometime."

"There's nothing to talk about, nothing happened Ray," Neela whispered back fiercely, rushing away from him, going back to work.

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Two weeks later…

Watching Neela Luka Kovac turned to Susan Lewis and said, "Has she talked to anyone?"

Knowing who he was talking about Susan answered "Not according to Abby…anyway she's barely speaking to anyone unless it's about patients," shaking her head, both going back to their work.

Seeing Morris Susan said, "Morris – are they the rosters for this month?"

"Yeah, why Dr. Lewis?" Archie Morris answered; handing them to Susan's outstretched hand.

Flipping through the rosters she checked them over, handed them back and sent Morris away. Turning to Kovac she said, "She's got more shifts than either the residents or the interns…she can't keep working like this Luka, something has to be done," her voice sounding weary and concerned.

"I know but there's nothing we can do…unless you make her take leave," Luka replied, worry and concern for the young resident clearly heard.

"I can't do that…we need all the doctors we can get, we're understaffed as it is."

"Then I suggest we can keep an eye on her, talk to Ray or Abby and just wait."

"Wait for what?"

"For her to crash or talk whatever comes first or you could get Wendell to talk to her," Luka suggested, just as Neela came stalking past them completely oblivious to their presence.

Watching her pass Susan sighed, saying "It's worth a try, I'll call Wendell," and with that Susan phoned Social Services and contacted Wendell, filling her in on all the details.

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Six weeks later… (Eight weeks after Gallant's death)

"Barnett," Abby said.

"Lockhart," Ray replied, his nonchalant tone in place.

"How's our girl?"

"'Our' girl is still the same," Ray replied grimly.

"Not eating, not sleeping, over working?" Abby asked, concerned for her close friend.

She'd tried talking to Neela about Gallant's death but each time she got the feeling there was more to it, there was something Neela wasn't telling anyone and that scared her though she'd never admit it.

So both her and Ray had taken to watching her, just letting her go and being there for her if she needed them.

"Yeah add the late night disappearances, the earlier runs before sunrise and you have 'our' girl," Ray told her, taking a sip of his water.

They were outside, taking their breaks and catching up on what they knew about Neela's recent change in both behaviour and personality.

"Hey…how can Lewis let her work so much? She pulls at least three double shifts plus all the earlier mornings a week," Ray asked her, curious as to how Neela could be working so much when the rest of them weren't.

"Lewis and Kovac's way of keeping their eyes on her, plus she keeps taking the shifts Morris doesn't want," Abby replied without her usual sarcastic bite.

"Well I got to go…breaks over," Abby said, putting out her cigarette, walking back inside but when she was a few feet away she called out "If there was anything else you'd tell me, right Ray?"

"Yeah, sure I would Lockhart," he replied, shrugging his shoulders.

As she entered the ER Abby knew Ray was lying through his teeth, there was something going on between the two of them that he wasn't telling her. It was obvious – Neela wouldn't stay 2 minutes in the same room with him let alone say two words unless it concerned patients.

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Shaking his head Ray watched Abby walk into the ER, knowing that what he was keeping from her might be able to help her get through to Neela but he just couldn't bring himself to tell her.

Hell if he told her then the whole ER probably would find out and if that happened he might as well be dead. Both Lewis and Kovac would chew him out and lecture him; Abby would scold him and Pratt… well Pratt was someone he didn't want to have to deal with concerning Neela.

Ever since news of Gallant's death had been announced Ray had notice Pratt take it upon himself to look out for, protect and help Neela so if Pratt found out then he'd probably have to leave town. Pratt would accuse him of taking advantage of her which wasn't the case.

During the last eight weeks whenever they were both home for any longer than an hour he would find Neela curled up on the couch – the only time she seemed to sit still – and place himself next to her.

She'd curl herself into him most times as they watched TV, resting her head on his chest and occasionally play with the loose thread of his shirt as he wrapped his arm around her and eventually falling asleep in his arms. At these times he'd try and talk to her but she'd either ignore his voice or tell him to shut up and they'd spend the rest of the night in verbal silence.

But other times when he'd catch her about to head out or actually at some random bar they would exchange heated words that ended up instigating unbelievable nights of incredible passionate sex. These nights were frequent and they always ended the same – he awoke alone, Neela nowhere in sight.

During those nights he was sure she had feelings for him that went deeper than friendship but the next morning she wouldn't talk to him and act like nothing had occurred between them which was confusing the hell out of him and pissing him off.

He was starting to feel used which was not something he liked.

"Ray- Barnett get your arse in here! Trauma in 2" Pratt yelled, drawing him from his thoughts and jolting him into action.

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Eight weeks later…. (Four months after Gallant's death)

For the last four months he'd stood by and watched her change. She was still the same – intelligent, beautiful tough caring – only now she seemed remote and she lacked her old insecurity in her own abilities.

Having seen people try talking to her and her unresponsive behaviour towards them he decided to just look out for, protect and help her if she looked like she needed it or when she asked.

Standing at reception Pratt looked down at the envelope – he'd only just found it after remembering Gallant had given it to him for Neela in case anything happened. Seeing Jerry Pratt asked, "Where's Neela?"

Pointing to Kovac Jerry said, "Over there, talking to Kovac" sadness dripping from voice as he spoke of her.

Everyone at County had known Neela and Gallant were extremely close and weren't too sure how she'd take hearing about his death four months ago. They'd taken to looking out for any changes and waiting for a 'Neela' meltdown which had yet to come.

Steeling himself, gathering his courage Pratt walked over waited for the conversation to finish and said, "Neela – I just found this. Gallant wanted me to give it to you if he…he didn't make it back," handing over the slightly yellowed envelope.

Looking at her he noticed she was dressed in green scrubs and a grey long sleeve shirt underneath, she looked a bit pale and exhausted but was still working – probably on a double shift- again.

As she took the envelope Pratt felt her hand shake slightly and watched her turn without a word, walking away from him and Kovac.

"Was that really a letter from Gallant?" Kovac asked, having watched the exchange.

"Yeah…just remembered I had it. Thought it might help her," Pratt answered him, walking away to start his shift.

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Her hands trembling Neela made her way to the roof knowing it was too cold for anyone to be out there. Finding a place she settled down, the snow and freezing wind not bothering her.

Carefully she opened the rumpled envelope – seeing her name scrawled in his familiar hand – a tear escaped rolling down her cheek resting on her chin.

As she read the all too familiar hand-writing, her tears began flowing. It was as though the damp inside her broke releasing all her pent up and suppressed emotions in one massive torrent.

Alone, isolated and undisturbed Neela continued to read as the light wind grew in intensity and a rain storm started to fall, soaking her to the bone within minutes.

Ignoring the fact she was soaked and freezing Neela cried herself to sleep, still alone on the roof exposed to the harsh Chicago winter elements, Gallant's letter clutched to her chest.

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"Where's Neela?" Lewis called, "Has anyone seen Neela? She got patients waiting."

"She got a letter from Gallant a while ago," Kovac said, walking up behind her, scaring her.

"Christ Luka…don't do that."

"Sorry."

"What letter…when?" she asked, turning to him.

"Gallant gave it to Pratt, Pratt just gave it to her…oh" looking at his watch he looked back at Susan saying "four hours ago, why?"

"You realize it's bucketing down out there?" she said pointing outside the ER doors. Seeing Luka's face "Where…where did she go?" she demanded.

"I-I don't know. She walked away without a word," he answered unsure.

"Well we have to find her…get security to check outside and we'll take it from there," she said.

After Kovac had talked to security – who weren't able to find her – they passed the word around to all staff – keep an eye out for Neela, Lewis wants to see her.

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Having heard 20 minutes ago about Neela's disappearance Ray tiredly made his way to the roof, wanting some space from the hustle and bustle of the ER.

Noticing the rain had stopped he walked out, pulling his coat tighter against the icy air as he walked toward the roof's edge.

Coming to an abrupt halt Ray stood shocked, shaking himself instantly he flew into action – kind of like the night of the balcony collapse – taking off his coat, wrapping it around the prone unconscious form of his soaking, freezing cold room mate.

Quickly checking for signs of life he hauled her up into his arms and as carefully as he could he raced into the hospital heading straight for the ER, not stopping.

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"Pratt, Kovac," Ray called out, reaching the ER.

Hearing his name Pratt looked up from his charts to see Ray carrying a prone body.

Seeing the look on Ray's face Pratt knew who it was, instantly jumping into action he said, "Trauma 1,' following Ray and telling Sam to get Kovac.

Two minutes later…

Kovac and Abby joined Pratt and Ray along with Sam and Chuny; who were already working on her.

Walking in taking note of what was going Kovac said," Pratt"

"Slow pulse, cold to touch, shallow resps, soaked clothing, and high temp. Possible hypothermia," Pratt rattled off.

Taking charge Kovac said, "I want an ABG, CBC, Chem 7, Coag panel, EKG and a chest x-ray," looking at Sam and Abby, turning to Pratt he said, "intubate, run warm saline and wrap her in heat blankets."

Walking out he added, "Get me when the results are back…and Dr. Barnett you've got patients to see, Abby and Pratt can handle this."

None too happy with being ordered out when all he wanted was to help his room mate Ray uncharacteristically and dutifully followed Kovac out of Trauma 1 and began seeing to the waiting patients, his thoughts never leaving Trauma 1.

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Okay – I hope everyone liked it, let me know what you thought that's why that 'submit review' button is below.

Just want to say thanks to the ER headquarters web site for the medical terms.

Stace.


	4. Chapter 4: How To Deal Fragile

**Title:** Dangerous Game

**Disclaime**r: I own nothing…suing me would achieve nothing. I only own Dr. Rackford.

Chapter 4 – How To Deal….Fragile

Having spent the last two hours doing works up; disposing patients Ray turned around grabbing another chart as he heard his name.

Grabbing hold of his arm, Abby hauled Ray into the staff lounge; a determined yet pissed look plastered across her face.

Once the door was shut she said, "No excuses Ray…tell me what the hell's going on between you and Neela?"

"Nothing…what's wrong, Lockhart?" he asked, feeling the whisper thin hairs on his nape prickle, standing up on end.

"Don't give me that bullshit Ray! We got her test results." Abby roared, sparks of annoyance flaring from her eyes.

His eyes dropping to the floor Ray said, "What were they?" lacking his usual confidence.

"You know I can't tell you."

"Abby – she's my room mate…just tell me," he replied broodingly, his eyes pleading with hers.

Seeing his gutted look Abby relented, knowing if anyone could answer her question it would be Ray.

"She's pregnant…'bout 16 weeks, give or take. Kovac and Pratt are waiting for an ultra sound to confirm," she told him, pursing her lips slightly.

As Ray stood there silent, shocked trying to absorb this news he heard Abby say "Ray, you live with her – do you have any idea who the father could be?"

Looking Abby squarely in the eyes, his bravado and confidence back full force he said, "Yeah…me. I'm the baby's father."

Now it was Abby's turn to stand in shocked silence. She'd suspected something was happening between them but to actually hear Ray speak it out loud astounded her.

"Y-you've been sleeping with Neela," she asked, eyebrows rising incredulously.

"Yes…we've been having sex for the last four months, anything else?" he asked.

"But how…no don't answer that, when?" she said, shaking her head not wanting the imagery his words had conjured.

Giving her a 'how do you think' look, he suppressed the urge to make a joke at her expense knowing it wouldn't help either one of them.

"Ray-" She began only to be cut off.

"Abby, I promise to give you details but first can we go see to Neela and my baby," he said, opening the door and walking out, not believing he'd just said 'my' baby.

He'd been in, still was in shock but right now Neela needed him to take care of them – her and the baby – so that's what he was going to do. No one not even Pratt was going to stop him from doing so.

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Hour later…

On the roof Ray sat quietly coming to terms with the revelation he was going to be a father when the aroma of cigarettes assailed him.

"Sooo…you and Neela. What happened Ray? Why are you so sure the baby's yours?" Abby asked, standing beside him.

"I know I'm the only person she's had sex with in the last four months," he replied curtly, staring at the city lights below.

"Didn't answer my question - what happened?"

"What do you mean 'what happened'?" he asked, being evasive.

"RAY – you know what I mean…when did it start...between you and Neela?" she asked, getting exasperated with his evasive attitude.

Glancing at her, seeing the same determined glint from early he continued to stare at the city's horizon as he began.

"The night she was told about Gallant. I saw her at a bar – didn't know it was her at first but went to chat her up and found it was Neela. We fought she exchanged looks with the bartender and left. I knew what she was up to so I warned the guy off and went home. I checked on her, we fought some more and she kissed me, got caught up in the moment," he finished, glancing at her.

Glancing back she said, "Ray, you said it's been going on for the last four months? Give me a little more than that," taking another puff of her cigarette.

Laughing a little to himself he added "If I saw her out or saw she was about to go out we'd fight which would lead to us having sex…. Every time," he elaborated sighing.

"Why would you fight with her?"

"I knew why she was going out or at some bar," he said, turning to Abby he continued "She was going to jump some random guy, loose herself…I didn't want her doing that, I knew she'd hate herself in the morning so I'd fight with her and somehow it always led to the same thing," he finished.

As she listened Abby heard the emotions he unsuccessfully tried to mask with his nonchalance and the look in his eyes as he spoke of Neela.

"You love her…don't you?"

Snapping his head to face her, his protests died on his lips. "Yeah…I think so, don't know," he admitted.

"Have you told her?"

"You're kidding me, right?" he said but seeing her look he continued, "You've seen how she is, there was no way I could tell her how I feel!...anyway she loves Gallant."

"No she doesn't," Abby said quietly.

Hearing her he said, "What do you mean?"

"When she wakes up ask her…I know she sent Michael a letter not long before he died and she got feelings for someone else but she refused to tell me who," Abby answered him, walking back into the building leaving Ray to contemplate her latest revelation, alone.

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Three days later…

Her eyes fluttering open, Neela quickly closed them as the light of the room slammed into her, shocking her tired body.

Opening her eyes again, letting herself become accustomed to the light; she felt a weight beside her right arm. Looking around her slowly, she could see an IV, monitors and as she looked down at her right arm – Ray Barnett.

As she stared at him confusion reigned. Her thoughts muddled as to the how and why of the current circumstance she presently found herself in. Lying in the hospital bed attached to monitors and an IV stuck in her arm she felt her thoughts clear and her memory return though it consisted of holes. She remembered Pratt giving her Gallant's letter, reading the letter and crying herself to sleep out in a rainstorm but she couldn't recall anything after that. Her memory was blank.

Stirring a little she closed her eyes and tried to think how she came to be here but came up blank, knowing someone must have found her and taken her to the ER. She guessed she'd just have to wait til either a doctor checked on her or Ray woke up, then she'd find out.

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Feeling her stir Ray woke up. Sitting back in his chair he looked up to find her staring at him – untold questions waiting to be answered.

Not to sure what to say he waited for her to speak.

"Ray…what happened to me, why am I in hospital?"

"Found you on the roof, you had hyperthermia."

"When?" Neela demanded, getting the strange feeling he was keeping something from her.

"Three days ago-"

"THREE DAYS AGO!" Neela shouted sending herself into a coughing fit.

Getting up Ray got her a glass of water and rubbed her back, helping to ease her coughing fit.

"Here," he said handing her the glass once she'd settled down.

"Ray – what's wrong with me?"

"You have to ask Dr. Rackford-" He said being cut off.

"Dr. Rackford? Why?" she said, impatiently.

"She's your doctor," Ray replied, just as the doctor in question walked in saying "I hope your not agitating my patient Dr. Barnett."

Turning Ray answered, "Nah, I gotta get back, Kovac and Lewis are probably wondering why I'm not working," glancing at Neela and walking out heading back to the ER.

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"Well, Neela I'm Dr. Emillie Rackford, I'm sure Dr. Barnett told you that much. Now," she said grabbing Neela's chart. Glancing over it she checked everything was in order, reading the nurses notations.

"Seeing how you've been unconscious for three days I'm sure you want to know what's going," she said, sitting in the chair Ray had recently vacated.

Nodding her head, not trusting herself Neela waited for Dr. Rackford – a woman who appeared to be in her mid- thirties with long light brown hair – to continue.

"You were brought into the ER with hyperthermia – mild case – the usual tests were done, most came back normal apart from a few. Further tests showed you are pregnant – 16 weeks – the baby is fine," she told her adding "but you have developed a mild infection which were treating with antibiotics. Is there any questions?" she finished, staying where she was.

Having maneuvered herself so she was sitting up, she sat stunned completely in utter shock waiting for the unexpected news to sink in.

"Neela…Ms. Rasgotra," Dr. Rackford ventured, concerned for her patient.

"I'm…I'm pregnant? How can that be, I would've noticed…" Neela said confused and uncertain adding "I'm a doctor…I would've noticed."

"Ms. Rasgotra, Neela from everything your friends have told me about your life over the last four months…there was little chance of you noticing, no matter how good a doctor you are," She told her, reassuring her.

"What do you mean?" Neela replied, uncertain of what the doctor had been told and not too sure she wanted to know.

"Constantly working – which you'll have to cut down – lack of sleep and eating, all of which will have to change if you decide to keep this baby."

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Hearing the doctor say 'if you decide to keep this baby' it struck her that she hadn't even thought that far ahead. _God_ she'd just found out, how was she going to raise a child let alone take care of a baby – for Christ sake she wasn't good with children let alone babies, she proved that during her rotation in 'the box'.

"How far along am I" she asked.

Having observed the young resident for the past few minutes Dr. Rackford said, "16 weeks."

Taking a deep breath Neela said, "What are my options?" already knowing what they were but needing to hear someone preferably her doctor speak them.

"Abortion isn't an option – you're past 12 weeks – at this point adoption or keeping it are your only options," Dr. Rackford answered her, compassionately.

"We'll talk more later," Dr. Rackford said, getting up and leaving pausing at the door to look at her patient who seemed so confused and lost in thought.

As soon as the door closed Neela felt the silence of her room suddenly become oppressive. She wanted to get up and leave, go for a run or in her present case a walk considering how tired she still felt but with all the wires and the IV attached she knew she wasn't going anywhere.

Two hours later…

Sitting in the comfy chair in the corner of her room – having moved out of her uncomfortable hospital bed nearly an hour ago- Neela tried to slow her rushing, rambling thoughts, putting them into some kind of order.

There was no doubt in her mind about keeping her baby – after all her parents hadn't raised her like that, plus they'd never allow a grandchild of theirs to be raised outside the family.

Then there was Ray – that thought had slammed into her like a big rig. She had no idea whether he knew, how he felt – hell she didn't even know what was going on between them except he'd been there for her, maybe not in the best way but he'd still been there.

If he didn't know how was she to tell him, if he did how did he feel about being a father, would he want to be, was he capable? Her thoughts kept going round and round in circles, kind of like a merry-go-round only there didn't seem to be an end.

Finally there was Michael. She'd thought she'd loved him and at some point she had. She couldn't pin point the moment it changed, the moment she'd developed feelings for someone else and her feelings for Michael had become more of friendship than lovers. All she knew was after reading his letter her guilt about her actions had dissolved evaporated and all she felt for him now was the love of a great friend and sadness at his death.

As her thoughts became easier to grasp and clearer she thought of her behaviour over the last four months, knowing she had to get her act together and she owed at least one person the entire truth behind her behavioural change. She just hoped he'd listen to her and not break her heart.

Hearing a clattering outside her door she looked up, only to see a catered bringing her a meal which as soon as her stomach registered what it was began growling, unmercifully.

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Having spent the last two hours working – not being able to get away – Ray made his way outside waiting for the incoming trauma.

"So, how is she?" he heard from behind him.

Shifting slightly he saw Abby – the only person who didn't seem pissed at him about the whole 'knocking Neela up' thing.

"She was awake when I left her," he replied.

"Did you tell her?"

"No."

"Why?"

"I'm not her doctor."

"No you're just the father," Abby replied, smirking.

""So what?" he said with a shrug.

"So what! Ray – you're going to be a parent. I know it'll be hard for you but start taking responsibility," was her only reply.

"I am responsible," he said indignantly.

"Yeah," came her sarcastic reply.

"What's that suppose to mean?"

"Ray- think about it…if you had been, you wouldn't be in this situation."

Knowing she was right he didn't answer but said, "I just wish I knew what she's gonna do."

"Ask her, talk to her, Ray. That's the only way you'll know anything and let her know the whole ER knows about you two while you're at it. She won't be so shocked when she gets back to work," Abby told him just as the trauma arrived, both jumping into action.

As they stormed in working on the trauma patient Ray shoved his thoughts of Neela, their baby and what she might do away and concentrated on the patient lying in front of him, deciding once his shift was over he'd go and talk with Neela.

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Hope everyone enjoyed! Sorry it's kind of long but it's taken me a few days to get this down. Anyway you all know the drill R & R.

Stace


	5. Chapter 5: Wound Up The Safest Place

**Title:** Dangerous Game

**Disclaime**r: I own nothing…suing me would achieve nothing. I only own Dr. Rackford.

Chapter 5 – Wound Up….The Safest Place

Having spent the afternoon in her comfy chair, Neela didn't bother calling the nurses as she stood up – albeit a bit wobbly – carefully making her way over with her IV to her uncomfortable bed.

Gingerly she sat down not relishing the feeling of having to sleep in the bed but knowing it would be inappropriate along with too cold to sleep in the chair, though that didn't stop her desiring to.

"Tut-tut-tut," came a voice from behind her.

Shifting slightly a sheepish expression gracing her tired features, Neela noticed Dr. Rackford entering.

Within minutes the two women were both seated on the bed, as comfortable as the bed would allow.

Before diving headlong into the major topic of discussion Dr. Rackford said, "You'll be happy to know I'm releasing you in a few days. Once your latest round of tests prove your on the mend," smiling.

"Thanks."

"Now have you thought about what were discussing earlier?" Dr. Rackford asked, rethinking her question as soon as she said it.

"Forget that question, stupid of me to ask. I'm guessing you've thought of nothing else," she continued, adding "My only question is - have you come to a decision yet?"

"Yes…I'm keeping my baby," Neela said, resolve burning in the depths of her eyes.

"In that case I've got strict rules for you to follow which I'll talk about later, for now I'll write you a referral to the best OBG County has. However, you should probably try and rest a bit," she said getting up to leave adding "If you need anything asked the nurses next time, that's what their here for… I don't want you relapsing." With that Dr. Rackford left.

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Hours later…

As the sun rose Ray made his way into Neela's hospital room, having just finished another grueling shift.

He was tired, exhausted and impatient. Expecting the worst reaction possible from Neela, dreading the fact he had to tell her they'd become the latest bit of County gossip. He knew if she snapped at him his temper was going to erupt, after all he'd had to deal with the past four days.

Quietly admitting himself into her room Ray was surprised to find her curled up in the corner arm chair, a blanket casually draped over her, keeping her warm.

Silently placing his backpack down out of the way Ray was about to walk around and sit down when he heard a sleepy voice say "Ray?"

Looking up he found himself locked in Neela's unreadable, unwavering, unfailing stare.

Not knowing what to say, being completely caught off guard the only words to escape his lips were "You're awake."

"Couldn't sleep," came her softly answered reply.

Having sat on her vacated bed, Ray said, "How was your day?" making small talk, not sure how to ask her what he wanted to know.

"Good. I'm allowed to go home in a few days," she answered him.

After a few minutes when neither continued Neela took a deep breath, braced herself and quietly said, "I'm pregnant…about 16 weeks and I'm going to raise this child…with or without your help," with steely determination, her eyes locked with his.

As the minutes ticked by, the tick-tock, tick-tock of the clock seeming to thunder through the room Neela said, "Ray?" questioningly.

Hearing Neela's sultry voice brought Ray out of his shocked, speechless stupor. Standing up, his hand roughly running through his hair, Ray said, "Damn Neela…What am I supposed to say!"

"Nothing…I don't know. I just thought I'd tell you so you didn't find out from the hospital gossips!" came her vehement reply, none too shocked by his reaction.

"What do you mean 'hospital gossips'?" he replied, his brows drawing together, realization dawning.

"You know?" he voiced, already knowing the answer.

"Yeah Ray! The nurses talk. Apparently we're the hospitals hottest bit of gossip!" she said cuttingly. "We're you going to tell me or just let me find out the way I did?"

"I came here to tell you this morning….after we talked about the baby," he countered.

"There's nothing to talk about…I've made my decision," she retorted, somewhat calmer.

"I'm not ready to be a parent! ...you should've talked to me first, it's not just your decision to make!" he retorted hotly, his temper beginning to flare.

"That's where you're wrong. It's my body, my choice….Anyway I've given you a bloody way out, Ray! So take it, I don't expect you to play daddy for Christ's sake-" she stated as Ray cut her off.

"You think I'm going to abandon my kid?" he shouted, completely taken aback by Neela's decision.

"Face it Ray, you're not the model of responsibility; you're irresponsible, you're immature and you said it yourself – you're not ready to be parent," she returned.

"Neither are you! The last four months have shown that!" he spat at her.

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Knowing what Ray said was right; it didn't make it hurt any less. Keeping her composure she felt the tears burn as she quietly said, "I think you should go."

"Neela…I- I didn't mean it, I'm tired. I've been waiting-" he began as Neela continued "I'll start looking for another place straight away," not giving him a chance to finish.

"Now leave, I need to rest," she riposted, curling herself up tighter and looking away from him.

As the door banged closed – the force of Ray's tightly restrained anger – the hot tears began coursing down her cold cheeks.

Staring at the swirling colours of the painting situated in front of her, Neela contemplated what had just happened. The conversation between herself and Ray hadn't gone as planned. All of the things she'd planned to tell him, to explain had vanished the moment she'd overheard the nurses talking an hour before Ray's appearance.

Then when she saw him the anger, the hurt and betrayal she'd felt at not being told her personal life was hospital fodder came bubbling to the surface and unleashed itself.

She hadn't meant to insinuate he'd abandon his child, that he'd leave her to raise it without him but she knew him. She didn't want him to feel pressured into being apart of their lives if it wasn't what he truly wanted, she'd rather he not be apart of their lives from the beginning then to disappear some where along the line with her being left to explain it.

So she'd given him the option, the way out along with the impression that she could and didn't mind going it alone as a single parent. She'd known his reaction was mostly to what she'd said not finding out about the pregnancy; after all it was how the hospital gossip about them had started – Ray telling everyone the baby was his.

As her tears began to subside, she knew another confrontation with Ray was brewing; it was only a matter of time for them to have it out again and this time it wouldn't be just about the baby but about the situation between them.

But right now she had to concentrate on more important things, like finding a new place to live, getting back to work, taking care of herself and working out a plan on how she'd continue working during her pregnancy and how she'd manage to work and take care of a newborn possibly without Ray.

As her mind wandered, plans beginning to formulate she mulled over the thought of informing her parents but quickly scratched that thought knowing they'd want her immediate return home to England which in itself wasn't too bad an idea apart from the lecture and interference that would await her.

With her mind full of thoughts, Neela drifted off to sleep; one hand resting on her slightly rounded tummy and the other curled into the blanket.

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Exiting the bathroom, having finished his shower calmer than when he'd arrived home Ray wearily plonked himself down on the couch, trying to process the situation he currently found himself in.

To say he'd been shocked by Neela's decision wasn't even close. He suspected she'd keep their kid but giving him the option of not being apart of its life was just something he'd never expect from her. That was what had truly left him stunned and flabbergasted, not to mention pissed.

He knew their fight didn't just stem from her insinuation he'd abandon her to raise his child – alone – but more from the fact she hadn't been told their sex lives were now hospital gossip.

That she'd found out by having overheard the nurses gossiping sometime during his shift about them.

But it still didn't make him any less angry at her or regretful about their fight. He'd known he'd gone their to talk to her, that she did have a point – hell even Abby had pointed out his irresponsibility to him earlier – but having Neela pointed them out, use them as examples for why she was giving him the option of having nothing to do with them…just hurt.

He thought since the balcony collapse they'd gotten to know each other better, they'd let each other further into their lives. Obviously if she thought he'd abandon her to raise his kid – alone – then he was wrong! He was dead wrong.

Cringing he thought of his last words to her before she kicked him out, he'd seen no facial reaction but her eyes had glistened with unshed tears as his barb had hit its mark. He hadn't wanted to hurt her but when she used what he'd said against him he couldn't help himself. He might be irresponsible 90 of the time but so had she been the past four months.

As he continued to think, he knew they were going to have talk about what had happened between them. Knowing it would probably end up like today he wasn't looking forward to it but they had to work things out or working together was going to be a hassle.

His thoughts continuing he remembered her last words 'I'll start looking for another place straight away' being shrewd enough to know she was serious but not wanting her to leave Ray bolted up from his current prone position on the couch and grabbed the paper just as the phone rang.

Getting up he dropped the paper, grabbed the phone and said, "Barnett."

Immediately his phone manner changed, his body language stiffened and changed as he heard the voice on the other end. Answering he said, "No, I'm Neela's room mate. Mrs Rasgotra," gulping.

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Hope everyone liked? Sorry  it took me soo long to write this chappie but I had trouble writing their conversation. Hopefully it wasn't too harsh. :o

Anyway you know the drill. 

Stace


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